"trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother-fucker's reflection."
you can let the sun in
Six billion smaller worlds on the bigger one.
Shoe salesmen and short-order cooks who look boring from the outside
- some have weirder lives than you.
Six billion stories, every one an epic,
full of tragedy and triumph,
good and evil,
despair and hope.
You and me - we aren’t so special, bro.
you can say something
you can enrich your mind
Adeline
Alvin
Angeline
Cashew
Dogget
Dionnie
Faith
Ian
Janice
Jas Cheng
Jing
Kitty
Marcus A.C
Natasha
Skye
Spanky
Suzy
Yubo
ZhiQuan
Alvin
Angeline
Cashew
Dogget
Dionnie
Faith
Ian
Janice
Jas Cheng
Jing
Kitty
Marcus A.C
Natasha
Skye
Spanky
Suzy
Yubo
ZhiQuan
you can read me again and again
you can thank them
Layout: vehemencyIcon: reruntherace
Homeground: blogger
Tuesday, August 14, 2012, 8/14/2012 11:40:00 PM
i'm not a hipster, neither will i try to be one. don't understand their music and dress sense.however, i'm living an indie working lifestyle where i work with one of my best buds (lines have to be drawn very carefully), i sort of have my own time, own target - just have to be more structured and organised and basically can work from anywhere. i won't say it's time of my life yet but i hope to get there.
i realized as i grow older, i am not so ambitious as i was much younger. don't get me wrong, i am not going to just live day by day but right now, at this instance, it's okay. to do your own things, to earn money, to strive for a work-life balance. after all, our mm LKY asks us to get married and have babies. really? that easy? i don't know, i haven't been dating - isn't it a vicious cycle since i thrive on working hard but yet i want this whole regular someone, regular sex, regular affection etc.
a fengshui master told me that my expiry age for marriage ends at 31 (i think), i have technically 3 years more. if not, the next age will be 42 which is really a while to go. i was reading this article (http://cosmopolitan.sg/2012/08/07/single-and-lovin-it-vanessa-tai/) - thanks pea,
"some people reading this may think this is just bravado on my part, given that I’ve been single for so long. I respectfully disagree. Over the years of being single, I’ve grown to become more and more comfortable in my own skin and I now realise I don’t need a man to complete my life – it’s already complete, thank you very much. If anything, he has to complement it." the part on the finding a man to complement it is true. you are pretty much your own woman. i guess if it comes, it comes.
Can I be blamed for wanting a real body, to put my arms around? Without it, I too am disembodied. I can listen to my own heartbeat against the bedsprings, I can stroke myself, under the dry white sheets, in the dark, but I too am dry and white, hard, granular; it’s like running my hand over a plateful of dry rice; it’s like snow. There’s something dead about it, something deserted. I am like a room where things once happened and now thing does except the pollen of the weeds that grow up outside the window blowing in as dust across the floor.
- Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale
it's too early to say that i've found peace, but leaving my ex company was one of the best choices I've made. that place sucked my soul and made me have low self-esteem and i HARDLY have low self esteem. the people there no doubt were nice, some of them anyway, it was really a good place to learn and grow.
rihanna went back to chris brown, one of us just had to go do it.
My friends think I am over you because I stopped talking about you. The truth is that I just stopped talking about you, because they all got tired of listening. I am definitely not over you.
Tuesday, August 07, 2012, 8/07/2012 12:49:00 AM
dear i,i saw you today, in your car, driving and texting at the same time, as always. i so don't mean to stalk you but you're always there when i don't need you. ironic isn't it. how have you been? i hope you have been good. never mind about the money, i've forgotten about it, i'm not angry anymore, you can keep the loan.
i was an angry person a year ago. angry at the way things were, angry at myself mostly. to allow myself being close to you, to think otherwise. to be so giving, to be so accommodating, to be so daring. i liked you, i really liked you. i looked up to you, i think you're damn cool for your age. but what happened? mid-life crisis? i just don't believe i was not better than the sweet young thing you had or the red dress fake blonde you had. did you pay them, i'm sure they don't charge $40 a pop. or they like me? seduction first then in return, you'll get money. is that how you scam? or how your dick works?
you know what's the most funny thing here is? i still want you, as much as you are a bastard and dickhead (pardon the pun). somewhere out there, karma and life are mocking me, they want to see me fall, hard.
maybe this email will not reach you, or it will. you'll never reply to this or delete me forever in your life, but i have to let you know because it's eating me inside the whole day. how can a mere sight of you makes my whole system overhaul? This is ridiculous, i'm ridiculous, writing to you to tell you how i really feel because i don't like whatsapp. i don't like how it tells me that you're awake at this time because you might be texting some fuck buddy.
i'm bewildering myself by even telling you all these.
if you see this, then call me.
after all, ramadan is a month for forgiveness right.
best regards,
this loser for life