"trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother-fucker's reflection."
you can let the sun in

Six billion of us walking the planet.
Six billion smaller worlds on the bigger one.
Shoe salesmen and short-order cooks who look boring from the outside
- some have weirder lives than you.
Six billion stories, every one an epic,
full of tragedy and triumph,
good and evil,
despair and hope.
You and me - we aren’t so special, bro.

you can say something

you can enrich your mind
Adeline
Alvin
Angeline
Cashew
Dogget
Dionnie
Faith
Ian
Janice
Jas Cheng
Jing
Kitty
Marcus A.C
Natasha
Skye
Spanky
Suzy
Yubo
ZhiQuan

you can read me again and again
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    Thursday, October 23, 2008, 10/23/2008 10:34:00 AM

    大家好

    今天的 post, 我会用华语寫.

    因为我要去上海度假.

    祝我好运因为我想吃一百万个小笼包.

    我是不會回来了.

    夜上海 - 张小英




    Tuesday, October 21, 2008, 10/21/2008 11:58:00 PM

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    today. my boss asked me to do 1000 things. and as usual she never reads her email, keep asking me for the same things over and over.

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    then i found out she has a habit of just throwing things to me to ask me to go find out cost.

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    like eh go find out the cost of a make up artiste.

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    like wtf?!

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    no head no tail no shit

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    so i asked the normal question : date, time, venue blah blah

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    then i keep asking.

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    so i think she got pissed up

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    and say jasmine, the essence is u need to gauge and ponder each question before u ask.

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    then later she tell me a bit here a bit there

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    GAUGE UR MOTHERFUCKIN HEAD ah

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    its like asking me to sweep shit, what kind of shit, diahorrea kind? hard kind? like give me specifics la, then don allow me to contact the person for more brief. THEN SIMI TAICHI

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    then she added. loosen up girl, ur goin on holiday

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    LOOSEN UP NI DE MAMA

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    so where u goin, taiwan ah?

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    TAIWAN NI DE FUCKING MAMA la

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    like how many times i told her i am goin shanghai

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    and i told her flat that i need money for my trip.

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    so i'm gonna get $900 cash tml

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    cheebye i dont care anymore.

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    like her condescending tone towards me

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    like OH SHE'S NOT KANCHEONG

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    i am kancheong

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    like oh i cannot ask questions

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    fuck la

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    then ask me do so many things

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    then want now now now

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    NOW NI DE MAMA la

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    i was damn sibei dulan

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    then i went to lunch with my colleague

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    and we bitched

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    muhahahah

    jasmine - small dragon buns says:
    i hate to be part of the management.

    and this concludes jasmine's bitching of the day. i quote "ni de mama" from suzi.




    Monday, October 20, 2008, 10/20/2008 12:48:00 PM

    BOSS & I


    When I take a long time to finish,
    I am slow,
    When my boss takes a long time,
    he is thorough
    When I don't do it,
    I am lazy,
    When my boss does not do it,
    he is busy,



    When I do something without being told,
    I am trying to
    be smart,
    When my boss does the same,
    he takes the initiative,!



    When I please my boss,
    I am apple polishing,
    When my boss pleases his boss,
    he is cooperating,


    When I make a mistake,
    you're an idiot.
    When my boss makes a mistake,
    he's only human..



    When I am out of the office,
    I am wandering around.
    When my boss is out of the office,
    he's on business.



    When I am on a day off sick,
    I am always sick.
    When my boss is a day off sick,
    he must be very ill.



    When I apply for leave,
    I must be going for an
    interview
    When my boss applies for leave,
    it's because he's
    overworked



    When I do good,
    my boss never remembers,
    When I do wrong,
    he never forgets




    Sunday, October 19, 2008, 10/19/2008 09:40:00 PM




    Thursday, October 16, 2008, 10/16/2008 12:15:00 AM

    somebody puked in the train, and my first thought was: how do you inform the mrt driver that the carriage needs cleaning, pronto?

    normally i can't stand vomit. but miraculously, i could. u know why, cus i sat.
    from boon lay to tanah merah. somebody should give me a medal and the reactions on people's faces were priceless, first they did the sprint to a seat, then upon the first glance of the puke, they braked so hard that if you hear carefully, there's also brakes sound. then the "omg, why like that", "omg, so gross" etc etc.

    i wanted to give the poor guy some wet tissues but that will mean i have to cross over the puke which i really can't. so i sat there, mentally giving him the "shit, i hope ur doing ok" vibes. cock but oh well.

    i wonder what will be my reaction be if i puke in the train myself.

    i vant to make a t shirt that says "IS THERE MELAMINE IN IT?"

    nabei, milk cannot drink, chocolate cannot eat, crackers might got it, vegetables might be affected. ok eat what, air?!

    suzi!! thanks for the hospitable dinner and treat. how?! next year come my house bai xin nian ok. and this is for you.

    Akon Feat. Kardinal Offishall - Dangerous


    minah time!




    Wednesday, October 15, 2008, 10/15/2008 12:10:00 AM







    i am now famous. HAHA.

    as zq would say "i'm really easy going once you get to worship me"




    Monday, October 13, 2008, 10/13/2008 09:05:00 PM



    poster of wisdom

    T.I. - Whatever You Like.mp3

    song of wisdom




    10/13/2008 06:27:00 PM



    i hate the word "manage", esp with words like "time management, people management".

    cheebye.




    Saturday, October 11, 2008, 10/11/2008 12:28:00 AM



    it has so many callings on its own: v jay jay, cooch, pussy, vag, bermuda triangle etc.

    in indian: pundei

    my favourite: cheebye

    i went to watch the vagina monologues because elizabeth tan and bernie chan is in it. i am a bernie chan's fan because i used to think she was so articulate when she hosted ntv7's pillow talk. tmd, now she with fly then i left. and also, i went to watch the monologues because i felt i was open enough to see how a private part can be so "un-private-ised".

    true enough, it was quite interesting. it made me think about being a woman and her sexual pleasures, self-examination of body, rape, domestic violence and ultimately, it pays tribute to mothers whom are really the greatest heroes of all (but sometimes they do nag A LOT).

    so in the show, they have 9 women playing different characters, each has its own story to tell. there's this story played out by loke loo pin (she used to be my fav inspector on triple 9) where she was reminiscing about the past and she used to hate her vagina until her husband came along. the trip among the "bermuda triangle" was so fulfilling that she began to love it and made her love herself.

    SEE, GOT INSPIRATION one ok.

    and they also touched on lesbian-ity which is quite interesting, teaches you on different types of "moan" which some are sibei funny can. i can demo! HAHAA. then also different scenarios of "what will your vagina perform if it can talk, dance or sing?"

    SEE, IT WILL MAKE YOU THINK one ok.

    if you are a woman, you should go watch it. if you are a man, you should go watch it too. learn a little something more about the vagina, fondly known as cunt.

    which i dont flinch when i say vagina, cunt or my favourite, cheebye!

    so come on people, "be a (wo)man, do the right thing!"

    psst: put a twist at your mouth and stick out your tongue. the v power.




    Wednesday, October 08, 2008, 10/08/2008 11:51:00 PM

    The first tattoo show in Singapore is happening in January 2009. ok-ay...... i dont really have anything to say except really?! tattoos?! it's like singapore ink.

    anyway!

    so much drama happened yesterday, it was the talk of the town. and we might be going to press with this. ting ting ting.

    this is the email that i sent to some of you on my work mailbox but behold, here are the facts that my boss's fiancee actually typed out. (ps: i corrected some typo errors, cannot take it)

    And it's not a spam mail because the VICTIM IS MY BOSS.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Dear All,

    Pleased be informed that a robbery and assault took place yesterday in Raffles City Mall, 1st floor at around 4pm.


    Age of Victim: 32, Chinese Man

    Date and Time of Attack: 7/10/2008 at about 1600hrs

    Place of Attack: Raffles City 1st Floor (entrance of Gent's Toilet)


    1) Victim was leaving the toilet whilst messaging on his hand phone, when two Malay young men (early 20s dressed in black and the other maroon attire) knocked onto him at the same time when entering the toilet.

    2) Both shortly attacked informant from the back. One attacker tried to grab victim's bag and hit him on the head whilst the other held on to the informant and remove informant's glasses.

    3) Victim tried to held on to his bag while both attackers continued to punch and kicked him.

    4) Victim dropped his hand phone during the struggle and one of the 2 attackers took the phone and walked away.

    5) Victim held on to one attacker until one Caucasian man (in his 40s wearing white and red t-shirt) helped to stop the attacker.

    6) There was another witness present (Chinese man in his 40s) that tried to help.

    7) Raffles City security officer arrived on scene and took attacker and victim to security office.

    8) Victim told security officer on scene to hold the 2 witness until Police arrive.

    9) However, security officer asked both witnesses to leave the scene. Details of witnesses from the security office - unknown.

    10) Victim was sent to Singapore General Hospital - A & E in an ambulance.

    11) At the same time, police arrived to take statements from security officer and detained attacker, but attacker was released after police statements.

    12) Victim was not able to make statements at this juncture as he was sent to the hospital.

    13) There was a CCTV camera on site but security officer claimed there was nothing recorded.

    14) Actions taken: a) Victim did a physical report at Cantonment Police Station after being discharged from the hospital. b) Appealed to MP for help to look into this case.

    We are seeking the public's help to locate witness to the crime scene. If you are at Raffles City yesterday and have friends/colleagues who have witnessed the commotion please kindly call 83376300.

    Please be careful of your belongings when you are in the area of RC.







    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I therefore concluded that it's no longer safe anywhere. Because I got robbed too but my one got caught and jailed for 13 months (ONLY!!).

    Here are some of my rules:

    1) Do not let anyone invade your bubble of space.
    2) If you see anyone start to go near you, maintain eye contact and memorize everything about the person.
    3) Start to jut your elbows abit because when they hit anywhere of the body, it will hurt like fuck.
    4) Do not sms while walking or holding your wallet in public, u never know who's watching. Or hold your handphone damn tight.

    My fav rule!
    5) Always have black face or this kind of -_- face.




    Tuesday, October 07, 2008, 10/07/2008 01:31:00 PM



    u know my boss can "forget to pay me" on my salary day. sigh then i also paiseh to ask from her. sian bo.

    do u know i paid $14 for a fucking caesar's salad yesterday at ps cafe. $14!!!! salad!!!!!!! sian bo.

    how do i publicise a facial place with no cost? sian bo.




    Friday, October 03, 2008, 10/03/2008 04:31:00 PM

    So What - Pink




    Wednesday, October 01, 2008, 10/01/2008 02:36:00 PM

    THE ONION AND THE CHRISTMAS TREE

    The family is sitting at the dinner table. The son asks his father,
    'Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?' The father, surprised,
    answers, 'Well son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a
    woman's breasts are like melons, round & firm. In her thirties &
    forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. After
    fifty, they are like onions.' 'Onions?' 'Yes, you see them, and they
    make you cry.'

    This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter says, 'Mom, how
    many types of 'willies' are there?' The mother, surprised, smiles and
    answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties,
    his willie is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties &
    forties, it's like a birch tree, flexible but reliable. After his
    fifties, it is like a Christmas tree.' 'A Christmas tree??'

    'Yes dear, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration
    only.'