"trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother-fucker's reflection."
you can let the sun in
Six billion smaller worlds on the bigger one.
Shoe salesmen and short-order cooks who look boring from the outside
- some have weirder lives than you.
Six billion stories, every one an epic,
full of tragedy and triumph,
good and evil,
despair and hope.
You and me - we aren’t so special, bro.
you can say something
you can enrich your mind
Adeline
Alvin
Angeline
Cashew
Dogget
Dionnie
Faith
Ian
Janice
Jas Cheng
Jing
Kitty
Marcus A.C
Natasha
Skye
Spanky
Suzy
Yubo
ZhiQuan
Alvin
Angeline
Cashew
Dogget
Dionnie
Faith
Ian
Janice
Jas Cheng
Jing
Kitty
Marcus A.C
Natasha
Skye
Spanky
Suzy
Yubo
ZhiQuan
you can read me again and again
you can thank them
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Saturday, December 30, 2006, 12/30/2006 06:26:00 PM
2006 has got to be the fastest year that has ever passed in my whole of 22 years.what has 2006 been like for me? what will 2007 be like for me? coming right up, the love, the hate, the shout-outs, the credits, the rants. you so can't wait, can you. haha. oh well it feels good to be back. sort of i supposed. it's like i am bringing sexyback. which i have been listening to mr j t's album religiously every night.
they say, your heart gets colder as you grow older, you being in better control of your life. you know what you want and you know how to get it. mistakes are still being made, you learn from it and you move on. you face pressure from every aspect of your life. you learn not to have any expectations because any disappointment will just kill you. i guess i grew up this year, in one way or another.
omg, wtf has 2006 done to me.
2006 was the year that my dad came back from bahrain and somehow i felt that all normal-ness was returned. my brother can drive now with of course the sponsorship of my dear mother who forked out everything and my bloody brother better appreciate. i'm sorry, do i sound bitter. YES. my dad got a much better job and an ang moh boss who asked my dad to jog at least once a week to lose all that flab. OH THAT'S GREAT. because now, my dad goes to the gym, eats so healthily that i just roll my eyes whenver and sorta forbades me from snacking. i am in utter shock. but i dont know whether i should thank the boss or slap the boss silly. btw, everybody comments that he looks radiant. but i'm glad he's back. i'm glad my mom's glad. i'm not glad that my brother asks me for $ occasionally.
2007 - i hope to have more money so i can splurge on my family further and we can have rollin good times. or better ask my parents buy more 4-D/toto.
2006 was the year that some friends/friendship became close, some became closer, some were neither here or there and some just broke apart. and 10 years reunion with pri school friends, priceless. i want to thank each and everyone of you for being there, for listening to me, for giving me advice, for all the gifts, for all the talks, the laughs, the bitchy rants, the car rides, the lunches, the dinners, the suppers, the drinks, the dancing, everything, all my buddies. my individual shout out list would be so long, blogger might shut down. CHEY CHEY. but i love you each and everyone, thank you for being in my life. we shall look forward to 2007, never lose contact and i'll always be there when u need me. fer sure. let's stay together 2007.
2007 - i hope to have more money so that we can stay together. see above for reference.
2006 was the year that i changed my job. from a booking girl to a fly. from a comfort zone back to the learning zone. from desk bound to semi deskbound/semi on the run (or should i say on the fly, geddit). from meeting nobody to meeting new people every 2 weeks. from good colleagues to not so good ones. from an agressive lady boss to another. from female company to another but this has MORE FEMALES. if u know what i mean. there is just so much to learn. but i don't think i get paid high enough to suck up all the time. hmmm.
2007 - i hope to have more money so that i can upgrade myself and get poached and earn more money! or better, have someone poach me with more money without me upgrading.
2006 was the year that i knew jason better. i mean he practically morphed from this phone call guy into something real. but i know i will/can never be with him and he can be this friend/memory whatever. he broke my heart but i am ok and will be. and pls, my flings/dates are so brief, it's almost like non-existent.
2007 - i hope to have more money so i am able to love myself more.
i propose a toast : "for the men who have us, the losers who had us and the lucky bastards who will have us." i'm young, eager and available. -inserts wild hoots of laughter-
2006 was the year that i ventured into many of a nightspot/entertainment area. crazy are the prices of drinks, crazy is the atmosphere of the place, crazy are some ways that the people were acting. but it was all good, very good. live music, good grub, cheap drinks, i like. but the dream place? i haven't really found it yet.
2007 - i hope to have more money so i can stuff myself silly with cheap drinks and food while listening to good rock music. wow, i'm sure being redundant with the last paragraph and all. and also, so i can treat my friends wow im' sure acting generous. or better, get some rich friends and so they can treat and stuff me silly.
2006 was the year i gave in to my arty-farty ways by attending plays/theatre, concerts, festivals. i gotta give my utter praise to jason mraz whose concert was the best one i attended so far because he's just so talented, funny and everything else. remember my tribute to him? uh huh. AND. BSB still rocks can. high profile plays include army daze, twist of fate and seriously i wasted so much money on the stupid magic fundoshi. that show left me speechless because i still could't believe i spent $56 to watch crap and naked butt. porn is so easy to download. i went to my first womad festival which was pretty ok or maybe i didn't go with a big group enough for me to get up and stand. or maybe i just don't like to sit on grass and watch mosh pits. but of course it's different when u sit on grass and watch movies at the nokia cinema fest.
2007 - i hope to have more money so i can tap further in my arty-farty ways. or ask for more discounts or even better, get free tickets. :)
2006 was the year that i watched more less-commercial movies, little miss sunshine, hard candy, thank you for smoking and good movies like batman returns, the prestige, the departed, casino royale, the devil wears prada, xmen 3, the pirates of the carribean 2 which further enticed me to eat squid tentacles for a month etc. i think there are more but i forgot la. the rest, the best and the bad, just watched on dvd lor. fyi, i have not watched any asian movies this year. nope, not one.
2007 - i hope to have more money so i can tap further in my movies and act intellectual. or better, get more free tickets. :)
2006 was the year that i took more initiative in sports. i know, im' surprised at myself too. i took up yoga, hot yoga to be precise. i played badminton for like the 1st time in 10 years, jogging, trekking the bloody macritchie reservoir only to get to the bloody treetop walk (cus the treetop view was over-hyped and disappointing), i had my dancing lessons, forget the moon walk ok cus people complained knee pain then the instructor stopped so i only did it for 1 lesson. basket. zilch for my ndp 06 achievement, bye bye stadium. and pls, marathon simi sai. no thanks.
2007 - i hope to have more money so i can join every sports club and lose weight like siao. or better, get a free marie france slimming endorsement. cus i would want katherine heigl's body.
2006 was the year that i indulged in more shopping than ever. wait, i shop so much every year.
2007 - i hope to have more money so i can shop till i drop. literally.
2006 was the year that i invested in this savings plan which enabled me to save $200 each month. bloody money sucker insurance. however if i am goin to be fucking holy and not draw any money out, i'll be able to get $90,000 when i reach age 45. anyway, i spent so much money this year and with the birth of my 1st credit card, it's amazing i'm still standing tall.
2007 - i hope to have more money so i can er make/spend money. $$$$$$$$ x infinity and beyond.
2006 was the year that i went to bangkok with my parents, went across the causeway upteenth times with my parents and the 1st time with my friends. eye opening (with my friends -.-), it's like the birth of fresh travel freedom. almost like popping your cherry. ahhh.
2007 - i hope to have more money so i can travel to australia 07/ hong-kong 07 and spend funds like a 1st class country would be jealous of. ok 2nd class. or better win lucky draws or get free tickets. :)
i think i pretty much covered all my bases, it's a long long entry, u think. :) the break did me good, i could feel myself coming back. or u know why, cus i'm goin to the muse concert, like i'm gonna get "mused". ok not funny.
anyway, im gonna work tomorrow within the esplanade area, with people of all nationalities and not to mention our friendly workers like banglas, prc, malaysian etc. and we will be so touching each other like oh we are one friendly world to welcome 2007 together. god, i can't so fucking wait. to fucking work tomorrow. without my family and my friends.
hello 2007, goodbye 2006.
"we are the same, human in all our ways and all our pains"
Saturday, December 16, 2006, 12/16/2006 10:54:00 PM
[Wish You Were Here]
So, so you think you can tell
heaven from hell
blue skies from pain
can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail
a smile from a veil
do you think you can tell
So, do you think we can change
everybody that hates
before its too late
so proud to be free
but who can we blame
don't be ashamed
do you think we can change
How i wish, how i wish you were here
we're a world of lost souls
swimming in a fish bowl
year after year
running over the same old ground
but have we found the same old fears
wish you were here
we don't need, need anymore pain
we just need to remain all on the very same page
so much to gain
no more losing a friend
we're losing ourselves
we just need your help
so glad you're here
so glad you're here.
12/16/2006 02:05:00 AM
i'm going away for a while to find myself.okie doke, i'll see you when i'll see you.
bill winters - ain't no sunshine
You ever want something
That you know you shouldn´t have
The more you know you shouldn´t have it
The more you want it
And then one day
You get it
And it´s so good to you
But it´s just like my girl
When she´s around me
I just feel so good
So good
But right now I just feel cold
So cold
Right down to my bones ´cause
Hee
Ain´t no sunshine when she´s gone
It´s not warm when she´s away
Ain´t no sunshine when she´s gone
And she's always gone too long anytime she goes away, hay
Wonder this time where she's gone
Wonder if she´s gone to stay
Ain´t no sunshine when she´s gone
And this house just ain´t no home
Anytime she goes away (anytime she goes away)
hmmm
ooh, no, no, no, no
ooh, no, no, no, no
ooh, no, no, no, no
ooh, no, no
All I need (all I need)
I ought to leave the young thing alone
Ain´t no sunshine when she´s gone (ain´t no sunshine when shes gone)
Ain´t no sunshine when she´s gone (ain´t no sunshine when she's gone)
Only darkness everyday (Only darkness everyday)
Ain´t no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain´t no home
Anytime she goes away (anytime she goes away)
Do, do, do, do, do, ooh (ain´t no sun)
Do, do, do, do, do (ain´t no sun)
(no, no, no, no, no, no, no) ooh
(no, no, no) ooh, ooh
Anytime she goes away
Ain´t no sunshine when she´s gone (ain´t no sunshine when she´s gone)
(it´s not warm when she goes away) It´s not warm when she away
(Ain´t no sunshine when she's gone)
And she´s always gone too long
Anytime she goes away (ain´t no sunshine when she's gone)
Anytime she goes away
Anytime she goes away
Anytime she goes away (ain´t no sunshine when she goes)
Anytime she goes away (Only everyday)
Anytime she goes away
Anytime she goes away (ain´t no sunshine when she goes)
Anytime she goes away (ain´t no sunshine when she goes)
Wednesday, December 13, 2006, 12/13/2006 11:16:00 AM
i wish he would stop calling me when he's drunk.i wish he would stop apologizing after he knew he did call me when he was drunk.
if the casting bitch would stop talking just for a min, nobody would think she's deaf, dumb and stupid.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 12/12/2006 10:01:00 AM
i got to grudgingly admit that SBS might be wise in its latest campaign.PLEASE FLAG THE BUS EARLY.
you might just want to avoid killer glares.
MUSE IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'M GOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, December 10, 2006, 12/10/2006 04:38:00 PM
i don't want to just go on and on about work and jason but i did, and will probably do so till something major fucks up. 12/10/2006 12:33:00 AM
admitting to a problem is taking the first step to a solution.i am infatuated with jason. again. he's 32, he's fugly, he smokes, he drinks, he plays mahjong, he talks to me when he's free, he plays tennis, he takes 2 hour lunch and knocks off on the dot, he's been putting on weight, he's a loser and he's fugly.
His voice. it's like this pill, instead of making me better, it's making me ill. there are times that i'm supressing my urge to call him. and there's not even sex involved.
i think i like the idea of him, but not necessarily him.
i can't believe i devoted 1/4 of this entry/most of this month to a guy who doesn't care at all.
i'm a loser baby, so why don't you just help me purge all thoughts of him then kill me~
i almost wanted to scratch the tits, sorry eyes out of my stupid colleague fondly known as casting bitch or rather the cheebye. apparently because she's being unreasonable and well, stupid. we have a way of identifying ourselves when we book jobs for our artistes. which is jas:[insert] then color code it in excel. so my BOSS taught me this way which is the most clarifying to identify ourselves in case any new person might save the hassle of asking. so she has to find a good day where i am not feeling any friendly towards any mankind to pick on me, saying "oh jasmine, you don't have to put your name down, just color it will do" i looked at her and i said ok and i went back to work. i am not goin to do anything, i saw no need to besides i'm being taught by my BOSS who hired me. so the point is she's being a cheebye as usual. it has almost reached the point where it's so ridiculous where all you can do is laugh it off, just almost. she has also asked me to help her to chaperon an event when she knew i had one myself that night just because her intern couldn't make it. she got brains of an ass i swear, only shit comes out of it.
cheebye.
to top off that wonderful day, my big boss hired this motivational speaker who is doing it FOC for us. he wrote 3 books and has a lot of money. he has taught us about life on how to be motivated for life and work. you must have passion, love, family, time, etc etc for your life to work. you can't choose life and death, only life. and he went on and on and provded us the ultimate word to live by: legacy.
FUCKING BULLSHIT. wasted my time, wasted my energy, and i also forgot his name. so much for a 3 books-local author.
i told my mom this part and she was like "what is wrong with you? i don't know what interest you leh. aiyo!" and i told her:
MONEY
whenever i walk past the outram NEL mrt waiting time board in the morning, there will be motivational quotes, reminding us life is good, blah blah blah. gee i guess they should start putting on EVERY SINGLE MRT STATION because i kept hearing people commiting suicide on the mrt tracks. what? suddenly buildings are not popular anymore? it's quite a gruesome way to die ain't it, the mrt driver got traumatised, the passengers'time got prolonged, the tracks had to be thoroughly cleansed, people will never think of mrt the same way again. but hor, back to those quotes i always laugh at them.
anyway, moving on to shallower stuff, my colleague asked me "are you interested in males or females" i think i got bit hysterical cus i was like "do i look like one?!!!!!" she went "er, just making sure.." and i told her blatantly that i like men, i like boys, i like anybody with dicks except animals,trans and fake dicks.
just by saying "you're gay" takes on a whole new level.
i think they are just waitin for me to join their "have a smoke" and "be gay" club. wowee, i so can't wait.
abcs and all foreigners should never try to pick up singlish, it will forever sound wrong and fake and stupid. all singaporeans should never try to pick up american accents, it will forever sound wrong and fake and stupid. you should hear mark zee saying "wah lau eh" i don't know whether to laugh or cringe.
i can't stop eating the tao kae noi seaweed leh, especially the wasabi one. so much MSG, but oh so good. have one, can't stop.
i just finished helping my artiste translating the chinese words into hanyu pinyin, thanks all who has helped me. it felt good to go back to my chinese roots, not that i'm not one but i hardly embrace it nowadays. hmm.
excuse me, i got A2 for my written paper and distinction for my oral in CHINESE.
Monday, December 04, 2006, 12/04/2006 12:45:00 AM
Saturday, December 02, 2006, 12/02/2006 01:10:00 AM
i'm into my 2nd month transitin into the 3rd.but it feels like i've been working for 6 months. time is fast, it fact it flies past every single moment. get it pun pun. -.-" anyway work has its ups and downs, you gotta please the client, you gotta please your client, you gotta please the company. it's pleasure everywhere and it's funny i dont feel pleasured but pressured. pun pun. this job takes managing seriously including emails and phone calls, and sometimes there are so many things i have to follow up that i get so worried. worried that i might forget and have to be ready for the shit that hit the ceiling.
in another word, you'd get fucked.
if there is one thing i would gladly get rid of, it's my perfection of procrasination. ugh. and my fats. :)
u know, sometimes i talk to allan, i have to slow myself down and i told him that he actually talks too fast and i have to take 10 secs or so to react. so to assure him i'm not retarded. but i think sometimes when i talk, he also don't understand cus he seem to have this oh ok look on him which means i know he's just skimmin my words. actually me also la. but hor i never talk so much singlish in front of him la cus i know hor.
oh, he changed his shirt in front of me. any hot blooded female will ogle and die from hotness right. u know what i did. I LOOKED AWAY. -_-" how to stare when he's like 15cm away from you. but his body. oh my effing goodness, hot like mother effing siao. sigh. might as well,"allan. ur body is so hard, can i touch it please"
no i didn't do anything.
and he's a really really really nice guy.
i really hope to do this for as long as i can, besides starin at hot bodies. -_- it's about the PR, baby.
i think there's something morally wrong with me. tell me how can i get so hung up over jason when all he's been doing recently is talk to me. huh. huh. why. i really hate to become those girls who talk bout boys all day, but then he's a man not boy so er ya. but i hate to become those so i shall stop.
i still dislike my colleague. i think she has an EQ of 10. and im' not the only one who thinks that way~ :)
i really need to exercise. i feel like a fat blimp, make it sleep deprived fat blimp. and i need to date, like meet new people, indulge in some interestin conversations. -proceeds to ring the bell like salvation army people-
speaking of which, how come those salvation army people are out again? i thought they just appeared like few months back? this year passes like super fast. SUPER FAST. what year is this anyway, where has time gone to. and christmas is looming which means i have no money again. wah sian. i can't believe there is an ad for xmas dating "singles xmas party". i'm being scornful for now but i tell u maybe 10 years down the road, if i'm still single, i think i'll be the first one to sign up for this.
oh my mother effing goodness.
jason hahn's books are hilarious. they speak from the way we think, on how we react, on how we act etc. my favourite lines "i think i miss him and the idea of him" and
"cus the heart knows what it wants, even though it should know better"
oh my mother effing goodness. i have some hung up issues.
"Do you ever just get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? you don’t want to smile, and you don't want to fake being happy. But at the same time, you don't know exactly what is wrong either. there isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. if you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. people have stopped being comforting.. and being alone never was. at least when you're alone no one constantly asks you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who wont take 'I don't know' for an answer. you feel the way you do just BECAUSE. you hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait." - Lora M. Heacock