"trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother-fucker's reflection."
you can let the sun in

Six billion of us walking the planet.
Six billion smaller worlds on the bigger one.
Shoe salesmen and short-order cooks who look boring from the outside
- some have weirder lives than you.
Six billion stories, every one an epic,
full of tragedy and triumph,
good and evil,
despair and hope.
You and me - we aren’t so special, bro.

you can say something

you can enrich your mind
Adeline
Alvin
Angeline
Cashew
Dogget
Dionnie
Faith
Ian
Janice
Jas Cheng
Jing
Kitty
Marcus A.C
Natasha
Skye
Spanky
Suzy
Yubo
ZhiQuan

you can read me again and again
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    Layout: vehemency
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    Tuesday, May 30, 2006, 5/30/2006 11:53:00 PM

    this shouldn't be the right time to be high, but i am.

    after watchin SINGAPORE IDOL 2. i know i know, i can't help it. it's so addictive, like u're being sucked in watchin people perform badly, watchin people beg and cry. so nice!!

    and of course, i a single hot blooded female has decided to start a cult following, starring me, by following JONATHAN LEONG. woohooooo. he just eludes this male-ness, u know.

    i am suddenly overwhelmed with ultimate grateful-ness for my company.

    ian! i think sanje singh looks a bit like u leh. u think?

    to those camping and hoggin the radio/tv/reception gates, SUCKERS. muhaha.

    i'm the root of all evil. yay.

    but for the world outside, i think indonesia needs lots and lots of help.




    Saturday, May 27, 2006, 5/27/2006 11:25:00 PM

    hello, i was stuck in a rut for weeks. couldn't be happy, couldn't be joyful, all i wanna do is pout and sulk and say life sucks.

    am still stuck, the numbness never fades as i put on a face to face the world every single day.

    life sucks.

    nevertheless, i'm here. -see my happy face-

    gss 2006 is here. ironically, that's the first line i could think of of this post. word of advice : NEVER NEVER NEVER GO SHOPPING ON A SATURDAY. it's crazy shit. tell me how can people be so willing to queue to try 1 stupid piece of clothing? another word of advice : MAKE SURE YOUR COMPANION IS TIRELESS, ENJOYABLE AND er, COMPANIONABLE.
    there, the wise words of someone who likes to shop till she drops but sadly she can't because she has very little money. besides she likes to think that there is so much more than a sale.

    the evil word of summer : sale

    the evil word of all : work

    speakin of which, i have taken another step into the learnin zone. remember the diagram? comfort vs learning? yeap. my foot is a little out of the former. now, i wait for someone to pull me over into the light. i can't stop talkin bout work, this is bad. and why does people like to ask me whether am i goin back on a sunday? i'm not obliged to go back, i work a fuckin 5 day week, not 6 not 7. ugh. hello, i'm screwed.

    i have fought hunger and walked the walk. thanks syl and weijie for the charitable deeds. well, you guys acc me and walked the walk too. it was enjoyable, it was a wake up call to get my ass moving. do u know macritchie has monkeys, how come the fountain area is done up so nice and how come they never take the steep slope away?! heck, the last time i've been there was in 2000. hmm. anyway we completed the 5 km walk within 1 hr. i am a proud owner of a FIGHT HUNGER tshirt.

    have you done your part for charity lately?

    i know i said it before but i would like to emphasis again. meeting your old friends is really really good therapy. sitting with old poly mates, eating hawker food instead of RICE TABLE was enjoyable, listening army talk all night was good never mind the quiet woman who observed and had no gossip to provide for, soccer was good, the company was just good. the medic, the policeman, the displicine master, the kids central host will always be in HI-LIFE with me. :B

    i still can't believe you are playing another role in your life : wife. i'm happy and psyched for you, truly. now, to lose weight to fit into a kebaya. i'll try my damn hardest. i really enjoyed the day, it's like old times and there is no way i am forkin out $1,600 for this fabolous, gorgeous, oh i would die for bag.

    we will definitely have to make time k. yours always, maria in waiting.

    "if you weren't [insert noun/adjective], i wouldn't be hanging with you." please. i dont get owed by anyone AND you don't SELECT me. I get to pick who i want to be with.
    i lost all appeal for the nightlife, except for the occasional call to wala wala.
    yay.

    oh ya, there's this guy i work with over the phone, he has this amazing voice and each time he calls, i get flustered a little. he has this perfect voice that i am so attracted to u know, but i heard. he looks like a beng with yellow teeth and chain smokes. -.- but bengs can speak such good and funny and flirtatious english meh. wah so nice. does anybody knows a jason who happens to work in an ad agency?

    i would love to tell you guys a racist joke but dont want la. anyway the govt knows who i vote for so i dont think i want a speedy way to get fined/jailed yet la ha.

    i really really really love muse. they sing my heart out.

    "an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is handsome, throw the apple away"

    ps:how the fuck do i get spam on my tag-board?




    Sunday, May 14, 2006, 5/14/2006 03:54:00 PM

    today is mother's day. i dont believe the hype that the whole world is generating, thinking that today is the only day to celebrate a mother's love. it's stupid anyway. don't get me wrong, i love my mother. i just hate the hype. by the way, sour grapes are non-existent here.

    i have been mean to my mother. i have been a rude, spoilt and childish brat. i really shouldn't point fingers at anybody because all i want to do is to stab myself dead with my finger. my dad's not in singapore, so all my attention naturally goes to my mom. she's the one i love, she's the one that is taking care of us. so make me stop being mean. in a sad and twisted way, because my mom's been so good to me, i have this tendency to test her patience.

    sometimes i wonder when i die, how deep am i goin to be in hell.

    fuck me.

    nevertheless, happy mother's day mom. i am trying, am so very very trying.

    i think i am so deeply rooted in my comfort zone that it's beginning to scare me. the things i do, the food i eat, the place i live in, the transport i travel in. it's all so familiar, so... routine. sure, i'll be honest and tell you that i am dissatisfied. i should really really go look at the world. i need reflection, i need to just sit down in solitude and think about what is really going on. where is my life going to be. i can't be constant, i crave changes.

    i don't know where i am going.

    i haven't pray for a long time. as much as my "good" side needs to be in touch, i just couldn't bring myself to do it. i used to rate religion as somewhat important but it sorta fades. i'll pray when it comes from the heart, which is seldom nowadays. skepticism/cynicism is getting to be pretty strong inside. sos.

    i am unable to lower my expectations. maybe not now, maybe never. so, i am goin to wait till someone fits and i know he will then be right for me.

    It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.
    Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930)

    "All that's sacred comes from youth
    Dedication, naive and true
    With no power, nothing to do"
    -pearl jam, not for you




    Saturday, May 06, 2006, 5/06/2006 01:00:00 PM

    hello singapore,

    i'm going to decide the fate today.

    i'm goin to cast my friggin virgin vote today.

    i'm goin to make a difference today. -.-"

    remember kids, don't go home too late today for you never know what will happen.

    the wise words of a singaporean who's gonna vote today.

    holy moly, i'm psyched.

    besides, i know who am i goin to root for.

    goodbye.




    Tuesday, May 02, 2006, 5/02/2006 01:48:00 AM

    point 1 :"a girl's powerful knowledge about herself could distract her into insanity. that's how decent women became whores, and why actresses would never be happy".
    -tempting faith dinapoli-lisa gabriele

    point 2 :"Voting for the right is doing nothing for it."
    Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862), "An Essay on Civil Disobedience," 1849.

    voting is stupid, voting robs you of the "right" choice. i hate myself for fretting over it. why can't they just bloody have a walk-over. do you think i should get deported?

    point 3 :"Don't reserve your best behavior for special occasions. You can't have two sets of manners, two social codes - one for those you admire and want to impress, another for those whom you consider unimportant. You must be the same to all people."
    Lillian Eichler Watson

    i'm sorry if i ever made u feel "suffocated".