"trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother-fucker's reflection."
you can let the sun in

Six billion of us walking the planet.
Six billion smaller worlds on the bigger one.
Shoe salesmen and short-order cooks who look boring from the outside
- some have weirder lives than you.
Six billion stories, every one an epic,
full of tragedy and triumph,
good and evil,
despair and hope.
You and me - we aren’t so special, bro.

you can say something

you can enrich your mind
Adeline
Alvin
Angeline
Cashew
Dogget
Dionnie
Faith
Ian
Janice
Jas Cheng
Jing
Kitty
Marcus A.C
Natasha
Skye
Spanky
Suzy
Yubo
ZhiQuan

you can read me again and again
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  • you can thank them
    Layout: vehemency
    Icon: reruntherace
    Homeground: blogger

    Sunday, October 31, 2010, 10/31/2010 02:17:00 PM

    Today you asked me, “How are you?” and I said “Good”. It was not a lie. There are a lot of things in my life that are good. I have a new job, new friends, and more love from my family that I probably even deserve. But, for some reason, lately I’ve been thinking about you. I’ll be honest: I thought those days were over. I thought I was over that hump. I thought I had moved on totally and completely.

    You made chit chat. Asked me about my job, my weekend. You chose not to address the elephant in the room. How one day I stopped calling your phone, stopped sending messages, stopped reaching out. One day I said enough and walked away. Maybe there was a part of me that thought you’d put up more of a fight. I guess that part of you has been fading ever since we met. I remember only one time, 3 years ago. I was still in college. I was doing the only thing I can seem to do. I was being short. Distant. Guarded. You asked, “What is wrong with us?” Us.

    As I probably secretly knew you would, you let me leave. Never even glanced back in my direction. Maybe it’s a conversation you don’t want to have. We’ve never been good at those conversations. We both shut down.

    Lately all that has been going through my mind is what you’ve been doing this whole time. These months when weeks go without a word between us. I’ve had a family tragedy, a new job, new friends, but no romance. I know you. I remember how you forced your way into my life even though I knew even at the age of 17 you were trouble. All this time that your life has been absent of me, there have been others. And all I can picture is your hands on them, the sweet words you’re saying. The new hearts that you’re preparing to crush. Maybe my biggest fear is someone else will stick. Then, what is there to think? Why not me? Why wasn’t I enough?

    I will patiently try to weather this storm. I will sit in my little boat, life jacket on, holding on with everything I have. These months that I’ve been strong will not wash away with the storm. Hopefully I’ll emerge renewed, motivated, stronger than ever.



    source here

    i seldom have time to read blogs but when i do, i want to read on how the person is really feeling, on how amazing to see that there is someone out there to feel exactly the way i'm feeling. so i followed this tumblr writer for a while and she writes the way i would feel.

    if i can relate, i think you would too. TO THE EXACT MOMENT IN TIME I WOULD BE FEELING.

    "The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - which you had thought special and particular to you. And now, here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out, and taken yours."
    - Alan Bennett

    and the nail gets hit on the head:
    "…I have this strange feeling that I’m not myself anymore. It’s hard to put into words, but I guess it’s like I was fast asleep, and someone came, disassembled me, and hurriedly put me back together again. That sort of feeling."
    - Haruki Murakami




    Tuesday, October 19, 2010, 10/19/2010 11:16:00 PM

    waking up at 7am in NYC has never felt breath-taking. the silence of the city, the view of the city, the weather of the city, makes you feel nostalgic.

    actually i can attribute that wholesome feeling to my friend, Kitty, taking away my blackberry so that i can stop waking up 4 times a night to check my emails at work (which is exactly 12 hours forward) and i can have a good night's sleep for the day's adventure.

    i am truly a workaholic. and i need to let go, i'm on vacation dammit.

    i've spent so far bout 4 days in NYC - I'm relishing every moment because i'm on vacation, which means i don't think about work and everything else. it felt surreal to be in NYC, which i am still feeling the surreal-ness after almost 24-hrs of flight.

    maybe it's the apprehensiveness of being in a new city or maybe i watch too much tv (last time) to see that being on the streets is not that safe in a foreign city. Especially when you're chinese/asian in a country full of white and black people. i tend to clutch my bag a little tighter, i'm more wary of people looking over, sure there are friendly people like the cute policeman who smiled at us, the cleaner who smiled at us. the people here are friendly, they had to work hard for their tips. hurhur.

    WHICH IS TAKING QUITE A BIG CHUNK OF MY $$. tips that is.

    i walked and still am walking so much until my calves hurt every day but it's all worth it i tell myself because i won't be back here unless i really like to travel halfway around the globe which involves sitting with one thug (sg to doha) and one indian boy who is airsick and parents left him with me (doha to nyc).

    the architecture here is breathtaking, whatever u see in the movies, the tv shows, ARE EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE. everything is so city-like you know, more fast paced than Singapore. which is why i don't really feel out of place.

    truthfully, i like new york but somehow in a tiny way, i think it's over-rated. well i'm speaking on the 4th day of my holiday, who knows the other 3 days may change my point of view.

    i'm gonna disappear now, for these 3 days, no checking of emails, no facebook, no msn. just pure holiday in the city, watch some tv, read a book, magazines. hopefully regain some sanity before i go back to reality on monday.












    10/19/2010 08:39:00 PM




    Saturday, October 09, 2010, 10/09/2010 01:02:00 AM




    Why do you build me up (Build me up)
    Buttercup baby just to
    let me down (Let me down)
    And mess me around
    And then worst of all (Worst of all)
    You never call baby
    When you say you will (Say you will)
    But I love you still
    I need you (I need you)
    More than anyone darlin'
    You know that I have from the start

    So build me up (Build me up)
    Buttercup
    Don't break my heart
    I'll be over at ten
    You tell me time and again
    But you're late
    I wait around and then
    I went to the door
    I can't take any more
    It's not you
    You let me down again

    Baby Baby
    Try to find a little time
    And I'll make you happy
    I'll be home
    I'll be waiting beside the phone
    Waiting for you.

    Why do you build me up....
    To you I'm a toy
    But I could be the boy
    You adore
    If you'd just let me know
    Although you're untrue
    I'm attracted to you
    All the more
    Why do I need you so Baby Baby.....

    ooh ooh ooh
    Why do build me up .....