"trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother-fucker's reflection."
you can let the sun in

Six billion of us walking the planet.
Six billion smaller worlds on the bigger one.
Shoe salesmen and short-order cooks who look boring from the outside
- some have weirder lives than you.
Six billion stories, every one an epic,
full of tragedy and triumph,
good and evil,
despair and hope.
You and me - we aren’t so special, bro.

you can say something

you can enrich your mind
Adeline
Alvin
Angeline
Cashew
Dogget
Dionnie
Faith
Ian
Janice
Jas Cheng
Jing
Kitty
Marcus A.C
Natasha
Skye
Spanky
Suzy
Yubo
ZhiQuan

you can read me again and again
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    Monday, April 27, 2009, 4/27/2009 01:00:00 AM



    because i'm going through a rock phase and because i'm going through liberation and revelations.

    or maybe i'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired.

    i need to go back to the "stone" age. hurhur geddit.




    Monday, April 13, 2009, 4/13/2009 11:12:00 PM

    because of a certain female boss wants to instil some corporate shit-niz into my benefit for my future (SO SHE SAYS), she decided to do some project brief shit to send to me and my male boss so that we can follow some rigidity.

    i can see where i'm adapting my up-tightness from. and please don't keep saying on why i can't be flexible when my surroundings don't allow me.

    and she goes: project manager: her of course, setup: my male boss, and guess what title i got: FOLLOW-UP. of all the shit i'm learning, all i get is FOLLOW UP.

    FOLLOW MY MOTHERFUCKING ASSSSSSSSS UP.

    I DON'T WANT TO FOLLOW UP ALL MY LIFE YOU MOTHERFUCKING ASSSHOLESSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

    after 3 seconds, my sane logical mind tells me that position doesn't matter but somehow coming from her, she likes to act damn bloody uppitity up and bitches to me about my male boss and act damn bloody high class can.

    WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK PLEASE. i don't care if your daughter goes to GO GO BAMBINI in dempsey or whatever that shit is called, or YOU decide to celebrate her 1st birthday at a safra chalet, because frankly you aren't gonna invite us and all the talk about not being to come to meetings that day don't make a difference so really WHAT'S THE POINT OF TELLING US. OH BUT REALLY GOOD ON YOU FOR ABLE TO DISTINGUISH BRANDS LIKE DIOR, OMEGA, CARTIER, LIKE SERIOUSLY, YOU DESERVE A FUCKING MEDAL FOR ALL YOUR HIGH CLASS. PLEASE DO POLISH YOUR SILVER-PLATED SPOON FOR ME.

    and oh ya, no point bitching to me about my male boss because I AIN'T GONNA DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. HE PAYS MY BILLS, I WORSHIP THE GROUND HE WALKS ON even though sometimes i wanna just break his legs.

    i'm low class and i'm also crass. let's play the fake game.




    4/13/2009 10:43:00 PM


    this is the night scene of singapore. act only.


    this is me trying to be happy with suzi. but act only. i look like an ape but i don't really care and i'm really fair. INSTANT POETRY ok.

    this is suzi looking sad to be with me. but act only.




    Friday, April 10, 2009, 4/10/2009 04:40:00 PM



    i hope your friday was good, if not excellent.




    Monday, April 06, 2009, 4/06/2009 10:06:00 PM

    i hope you have been doing good for the past 3 months because congratulations you have survived the 1st quarter of 2009.

    like you, i'm also a survivor but something is eating me inside, destroying me slowly day by day. the sweetest yet forbidden apple tree has flipped the soil and cast the seed deep inside. i know one day the tree will grow and it will rot but for now, i am enjoying the growth. i never said i am not sadistic.

    i never once believe in peer pressure but i do believe in peer influence when your friends are the ones whom you trust and seek respect from. what do we actually want? what do we live everyday for? for the pursue of happiness, for the pursue of being selfish, for the pursue of wanting? as much as the thrill is there, my friends cannot do wrong, i want to believe. or either i need to make new friends, haha.

    i'm no emo mood but just that i feel that i've been passing these 3 months for the sake of passing. i seem to lose my personality, i don't know who i am anymore, i don't know what i'm working towards to, i don't know what or how to behave, even my speech gets sometimes impaired.

    AND PLEASE, THIS IS NOT A SUICIDE POST. do not believe what you read in the papers everyday.

    i'm getting sick of putting a facade but people expect you to, they don't expect you to show your true feelings because NOBODY wants you to. i really hate to be the one spreading the negative vibes but i just feel there's nothing for me to be happy. i want to be the strong one to tell you that look, things will get better. i used to be cheerful dammit. now i'm just withered.

    maybe i need a break, maybe i just need to really sit down, tame the bloody heart and mind, reflect and then kill myself. HAHAHA kidding la, wah lau. reflect and work towards a goal. a goal of making myself happy, a goal of making my family and friends happy, a goal of reaching the peak of your career.

    or maybe i just need work to keep me really busy so i don't have to write all these and act all emo and shit. when deep down, i is sibeh sian. the thing is i also don't know i sian about what. the circle just gets darker because i cannot find a point to stop the doodle. may is damn busy can, knn sibei sian.

    anyway work's fine, just some mis-communication issues that my company has to solve just because 30plus bosses cannot seem to communicate through modern technology such as handphone and msn and they have to rely on the worker WHICH IS ME to pass on the messages when i hope one day if i'm gone, they will all die. but before i do, i hope to get an IWC or Patek Philippe first.

    i entered the annual monopoly challenge on sat and boy did it open up my moneybags eyes. people were damn serious can, serene and i were like dude, let's back out. but of course we didn't. we paid $4 for the event, cannot. recession. so we had 4 players and 1 banker at a table, there i was, chilling, dont need so serious until when i didn't collect rent and wanted to, 1 player went oh sorry, rolled dice liao cannot collect. like wtf?! so. the game got serious and i emerged 2nd. OF THE TABLE with value of $48k plus which is not bad for an hour. oh well, good experience and remember, the strategy is to buy the 4 stations to keeeeel them.


    i'm going to attend a SPCA volunteer orientation because i need all the time to keep me busy so i can stop writing posts like how emo i am or how i'm facing the internal war. or to meet guys so i can stop the bloody forbidden fruit.

    so i'm gonna leave with you this KOREAN MTV whom i motherfucking swear it's my first time posting up and i cannot get the song out of my head:
    happy nobody!


    and i'm still gonna eat ROJAK, chinese or indian because life's too short to miss out great food.

    and i will try my best to find my half-full cup, if not i just have to pretend it is ok.