"trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother-fucker's reflection."
you can let the sun in
Six billion smaller worlds on the bigger one.
Shoe salesmen and short-order cooks who look boring from the outside
- some have weirder lives than you.
Six billion stories, every one an epic,
full of tragedy and triumph,
good and evil,
despair and hope.
You and me - we aren’t so special, bro.
you can say something
you can enrich your mind
Adeline
Alvin
Angeline
Cashew
Dogget
Dionnie
Faith
Ian
Janice
Jas Cheng
Jing
Kitty
Marcus A.C
Natasha
Skye
Spanky
Suzy
Yubo
ZhiQuan
Alvin
Angeline
Cashew
Dogget
Dionnie
Faith
Ian
Janice
Jas Cheng
Jing
Kitty
Marcus A.C
Natasha
Skye
Spanky
Suzy
Yubo
ZhiQuan
you can read me again and again
you can thank them
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Monday, March 26, 2007, 3/26/2007 07:32:00 PM
The InvitationIt doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
Oriah Mountain Dreamer.
Thursday, March 22, 2007, 3/22/2007 09:52:00 AM
despite your handsome looks, you are just a bastard who thinks very highly of yourself. so you quitted your highly corporate job to become a struggling artiste in the arts world. you know what, no fucking deal. you should remain in your old job and i bet nobody misses you in the entertainment industry.you keep insisting that you are not making noise and just making yourself heard. guess what, we heard you loud and clear and it's not very pleasant. you whine at every little thing we do, mistakes or not. you are just dying for attention, don't you. well hey mr big shot, we are trying our best to accomodate your stupid timing and our client's timing. or rather i am tryin my best. i bet they hate your guts, just like i do.
you are not some god-king where people are expected to bow at your feet and make way whenver you appear. people will find you a pleasure to work with if you aren't so demanding or acting as a prude. fine, so you know what you want but really, do you have to be a jerk and make everybody's life miserable?
each time, i handle your account, i'll lose sleep because i will be anticipating your bad comments. nothing good comes out of your mouth anyway. so i'm a bad scheduler, you know what. i am going to let go. never mind if my bosses say no, i am insisting because i think it will be mutual since whatever i do it's never good enough.
perhaps when i quit, i'll respect you as a person. bless the people who are/will be working with you.
but for now, fuck you, fuck your demands, fuck your anal comments, fuck you to hell.
Saturday, March 17, 2007, 3/17/2007 10:32:00 PM
this week isn't that bad. i mean i can safely say for this week as it's going to end pretty soon. or maybe ALL MY FRIENDS understand my situation or maybe i have told my boss the whole situation or maybe my whole company knows i'm over-worked.ANYWAY, they know and i'm learning to say "do i look like i care" 10 times a day.
the goodie bags given out at some events are amazing. i mean being 6 months into my job, i'm tryin not to gawk at what they are giving out but really, some are just so cool. BUT PLEASE, not only i gawk can, artistes also gawk. so if I LC, they also LC, tio bo.
and at this chanel event, it was held at the old sparks disco, showcasing their latest spring/summer 07 clothes which mainly consisted of black,pink,hoodies,shorts,flat shoes and really neat hair. the models didn't fascinate me, the audience did with their chi-chi white and glamourous gold gear.
the whole event smell of money,gold and botox. the socialites with their big hairs, their glamourous dresses, their manicured fingers, their practiced air kisses and their BOTOXED foreheads. despite them being chi-chi and all, they are really aunties. wah lau eh, donno how to queue for buffet one leh, knn. then can cut queue somemore. it's not like the food goin to run away right. knnccb. then wear so nice for what when you're goin to behave like this.
anyway, fake-ness is the key of life. everything's so chi-chi. the door gift was a bottle of chanel perfume. wah, damn rich can!!!!
perhaps their behaviour is rubbing off me because tonight a lot of singlish hor. i like saying chi-chieven though i dont know what it meant.
i saw my pri/sec sch friend whom i have known for 10 years. he recognized me and it took me a good of 5 secs to say hi back. i guess the point in me telling you guys is that i'm still recognizable and he's a pilot. :) he signed on so i'm goin to take the intiative to be more pro-active so as to get introduced to more pilots. fine, maybe a little catch-up session but i do remember he wasn't that nice to me in school.
everybody uses one another.
i'm exhausted to a point where i slur when i talk.
ps: if you ever find me air-kissing with my botoxed forehead and big hair, you know might as well i be dead.
Thursday, March 15, 2007, 3/15/2007 03:00:00 PM
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and He could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know, I haven't had the flu all winter."
[insert hoots of laughter]
and the best way to sum up 300 (btw they raked in $70 million with no a-listers can)
300 = milf, also fondly translated to
300 = men, i'd like to fuck
or
300 = mother, i'd like to fuck
Monday, March 12, 2007, 3/12/2007 12:13:00 AM
work has been taking up all of my life so if i were to say anything, it will all be work-related which is really sad. i have a sad life anyway so what's the difference.
so much has happened that i realized i have 2 emotions to feed my soul every single day.
1) anger
2) numb-ness.
and it works in a chronological order where anger rules the morning and by the time it's time to knock off, all you can feel is jaded/numbness because you have already spent all your time on your work. i make sense, i do.
people are not very nice and kind. i am stocking up voodoo dolls.
how much good you do, people will remember only the bad.
you think you know but you have no idea.
never trust anyone.
i miss my family. i miss my friends. i miss my life. i miss my mind.
it has reached to a point where i'm inspired to find an admin job where i would wear girly office clothes,i would apply makeup meticulously, do filing, type letters and lick stamps and will manage to knock off at 6 every single day. or. i could be a waitress or a cleaner.
i wouldn't be satisfied would i.
the casting bitch sprained her back due to a 48 hrs gambling marathon in genting where she sat and played at the slot machine. 48 hrs, apparently not only she's a bitch, she's also stupid. perfect combo and guess what, she so deserved it.
but i guess karma is a bitch also because i have to juggle with her work and mine. my boss did try to help me but i guess she has no time because she's busy doing "tai-chi".
i don't know what i want anymore.
i watched ugly betty and think omg, that's so me. for the 1st 2 months anyway, today's only the 2nd ep, let's see how it goes in the consecutive eps. besides i don't even have a hot boss to begin with.
anyway i had to take a break (do u know i check my office mail during the weekends) so i decided to watch 300 with my brother. it's a very male movie so u can imagine all the male testerone in the cinema. it has violence and gore and sadistic actions which i love. i don't see any blood though. and it's also a very good movie to catch if you're horny (only applies to females and gays) because it features 300 (duh) hot guys with amazing abs. nabei, they CGed the abs issit. wah lau eh. 10 pack also have can. wah. at the point of time, my mind drifted to me being the female lead and having the king as my own lord. anyway, just remember not to watch your siblings because i did and imagine my reaction when there's SEX upfront in the movie.
i really hate to sleep because that would signify the end of the weekend and the beginning of a brand new shitty week.
is there anywhere i can buy prozac.