empty-handed

rate

everybody knows i quit my job and i have a 3 months notice period to fulfill. however, due to some talking from my HR and whatever god my boss decides to see, my notice period has been shortened to 1 month, which technically my last day will be somewhere the 2nd week of Dec.

HOWEVER, my boss has kindly requested that i do come back to help out the new girl if I can because she's a tender greenhorn whom has never done events before (omg good luck to her because this industry's such a bitch and please dont let her turn out like me). which i just "orh" not a promise, not a disagreement either.

the thing that's eating me inside is because i have an event on 15 Jan whom i swear i don't want to take on because shirley my ex boss used to service them and fucking kisses their ass just because they cater to the rich. let me tell you, i don't care if they are god, they are rich and powerful because if you are not nice, you are not nice. i don't have to kowtow to you just because. besides i'm the sub-event contractor, i'm not even the main event contractor. so really, please allow them to go fuck themselves. so the thing is if i take the 1 month, i still have to follow up for the Jan event. if i take up the 3 months, i'll just take the salary and do nothing which frustates me because i cannot do nothing. i need to work, i need to do something and also i don think my boss is that stupid to give me money for doing.. nothing. easy to say right. but then don't forget, i have other pending/confirmed jobs to commit to. so if i start a new job, i may have to be excused at times so that i can fulfill my "unfinished" business.

SO MOTHERFUCKING HOW. let me tell you, my boss has finally came to terms that i'm leaving because he didn't come to the office for 1 week, supposedly to avoid me. i'm not his lover, i'm his employee, why can't he be a man and face the fucking truth that i'm finally leaving and i am not going to look back. as usual, he runs away from the problems, leaving me with all these unwanted issues.

so this issue is like a ghost, it cannot rest until you exorcise the fucking thing which i'm trying to but no, the ghost actually runs away. if i can put a bullet through the head. trust me i tried to face the problem because that's what i do everyday but no, the problem don't want to face me and it's getting very tiring because i cannot move on.

so anyway i'm gonna leave in Dec, regardless. and for January event, i'm goin to turn it down and let him sub to other people because i really cannot care anymore. i need to let go.

and it's really eating me inside because how can a simple issue be so complicated. it involves my career, i'm already 25, i need to choose my next step carefully and if opportunities arise, am i just going to let go because i have a ghost trailing?

and speaking of opportunities also, if you are an employer and you know that this potential employee could be the best investment, are you gonna let go just because this person has studies issues where she's willing to forgo, mentioned in the 2nd interview as well? this analogy - people want food on table, waiter loves to serve but also want to cook, restaurant owner wants waiter because shes' the best, waiter is willing to drop everything to learn cooking. restaurant owner cannot reach a compromise because it's either waiting or cooking. BUT THE WAITER IS ALREADY WILLING TO DROP EVERYTHING.

anyway the waiter should just fuck the restaurant and go find somewhere where she can spread her wings to be the jill of her fucking trade.

i'm living day by day, day by fucking day.

and your mom has to rub salt by having this cocky attitude, i feel like slapping her face.

Been There, Done That
You can’t collect women like souvenirs, even if you do love them all. Eventually, the See Rock City bumper sticker will find out about the I Heart NY t-shirt, and it won’t be pretty.

Your Number
Truthfully, I didn’t care who you slept with, or how many.

salutation to pea-hood!

i'm always on the look-out for a drug that can take away pain.

however, not only the doctor gave me the wrong prescription, he gave me another kind of drug that will make you go light-headed. you know the song that goes "boom boom pow"? exactly that kind of feeling.

and that light-headedness is addictive, it weakens your mind,body and soul, enhances your cravings and you'll go slightly mad thinking about it. it sure doesn't help that the attractive doctor ups your dosage every once in a while.

and i will turn out exactly like michael jackson.

I just woke up from a fuzzy dream
You never would believe those things that I had seen
I looked in the mirror and I saw your face
You looked right through me, you were miles away

All my dreams they fade away
I'll never be the same
If you could see me the way you see yourself
I can't pretend to be someone else

You always love me more, miles away
I hear it in your voice, we're miles away
You're not afraid to tell me, miles away
I guess we're at our best when we're miles away

So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away

When no one's around then I have you here
I begin to see the picture, it becomes so clear
You always have the biggest heart,
When we're six thousand miles apart

Too much of no sound
Uncomfortable silence can be so loud
Those three words are never enough
When it's long distance love

You always love me more, miles away
I hear it in your voice, we're miles away
You're not afraid to tell me, miles away
I guess we’re at our best when we're miles away

So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away

I'm alright, don't be sorry, but it's true
When I'm gone you'll realize
That I'm the best thing that happened to you

You always love me more, miles away
I hear it in your voice, we're miles away
You're not afraid to tell me, miles away
I guess we're at our best when we're miles a-a-away...

You always love me more, miles away
I hear it in your voice, we're miles away
You're not afraid to tell me, miles away
I guess we're at our best when we're miles away

So far away
So far away

i submitted my letter today and u know what my boss did?

he TORE the letter IN HALF. knnnnnnnnnccccbbbbb

now everyone's tearing papers in front of me.

GREATTTTTTTTTTTT.

i'm still leaving.

"If you don’t get what you want, it’s a sign either that you did not seriously want it, or that you tried to bargain over the price."

rudyard kipling

TODAY IS THE DAY TO QUITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA