"trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother-fucker's reflection."
you can let the sun in
Six billion smaller worlds on the bigger one.
Shoe salesmen and short-order cooks who look boring from the outside
- some have weirder lives than you.
Six billion stories, every one an epic,
full of tragedy and triumph,
good and evil,
despair and hope.
You and me - we aren’t so special, bro.
you can say something
you can enrich your mind
Adeline
Alvin
Angeline
Cashew
Dogget
Dionnie
Faith
Ian
Janice
Jas Cheng
Jing
Kitty
Marcus A.C
Natasha
Skye
Spanky
Suzy
Yubo
ZhiQuan
Alvin
Angeline
Cashew
Dogget
Dionnie
Faith
Ian
Janice
Jas Cheng
Jing
Kitty
Marcus A.C
Natasha
Skye
Spanky
Suzy
Yubo
ZhiQuan
you can read me again and again
you can thank them
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Sunday, December 04, 2011, 12/04/2011 08:02:00 PM
hey pea.look at this:
THEN (2008)
NOW (2011)
Y WE NO TAKE MUCH PHOTOS.
Sunday, November 27, 2011, 11/27/2011 10:08:00 AM
"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, People may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, They may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway." - Mother TeresaSaturday, November 19, 2011, 11/19/2011 11:56:00 PM
i've never left, i've never stayed either.so here's my fleeting moment before i may decide to come by again, to be re-acquainted with my keyboard to actually type a proper entry, rather than to type emails/timelines/work schedules all d...a...y.. long.
it's been a roller-coaster ride this time, with work always being in the driver's seat and social/family life taking the passenger seat and love taking the backseat. now, if only my car is like F1 racecar, then the answer is pretty obvious. and hello november 2011, where did the past 10 months ago?
see, i've been working hard, trying to co-ordinate my work-life balance which is never the case because i'm a self-professed workaholic. i'm an acct service exec which means i am a sales person where i co-ordinate between my client, my designer, my operations, my vendors and my management, making me the lowest of the food-chain. sometimes i thrive on these so that i can feel better on being a leader and a follower at the same time.
to cut the story short, people ask me how's life? I SAY IT SUCKS. i'm trying to find the light somewhere or somehow, i'm not rejecting it, just not in the mood always to find. i had a high profile @ work, enjoying my popularity, my work was taking a good turn and suddenly, it all went downhill because i find myself being distant from my colleagues because i just couldn't click with them anymore. there was no chemistry, everything they say i find them repulsive, why aren't they using their brains, i started to drift away etc etc. i was being a snob.
and bam, messages start coming in on i've changed, ive become this blah blah, WELCOME TO OFFICE POLITICS where work isn't enough to keep you busy. so i had to deal with work AND office politics where there was an outburst in front of my director. which led to a resignation of letter the following month. it was rejected and plans were being planned out for me, so they say. i then continued to suck it up but nowadays, i find myself with violent tendencies at work, to actually see how does it feel to murder someone and get away with it. I'M KIDDING MR POLICEMAN.
SO in order to be sane, i took action, i went to send resumes, couple of successful ones and i've got a job offer now that is taking me back to my love, events. but then again i love $$$$ so i'm trying to work out a package that can benefit my sanity and lifestyle.
to order to also stop feeling lethargic all the time, i signed up for amore fitness where i can take any classes i want and be at the gym anytime i want. i try to be more active now, squeezing in exercising, walking. i've cut off bubble-tea too, because of the caffeine i craved to be awake @ work, i was downing a cup every other day. my stomach was actually bigger than my boobs. NOT COOL YO. here's to an active lifestyle before it all goes downhill.
i have awesome family and friends, i know i do. and i thank them for being there for me, my true friends keep me alive every single day and i'm grateful for them who know and love me for who i am, dark cynical or not. and of course, not all is rosy but we'll get by. after all, we need to learn to be appreciative and content.
i'm actually going to be a god-mom, oh i'm stoked and i'm going to be the world's coolest god-mom. IF time permits. HA HA HA. i actually have to rely on my blackberry now on my appts, such pathetic RAM of what's left in me. and my childhood friend's gonna get married, oh i'm stoked and i'm going to be her best co-ordinator/bridesmaid ever, it will be successful, i'm sure! time needs to permit me for this, cannot escape.
and ha ha, on jan 24 content, i actually only read less than 10 books. my general knowledge and usage of english is going down. it's so easy to be consumed by work, come weekends, i feel humane and i feel I have some compassion left in me. come weekdays, i'm this self-centered bitch that is just consumed with anger and frustration all day long. things have to change.
and for the men in my life, let's just say:
"Wait for it. Wait for somebody who is perfect for you. I don’t care how long you’ve been alone, or how easy it is to make excuses for somebody who makes you feel bad. I don’t care if it’s because you kind of like them, and I don’t care if you think it ‘could maybe work out.’ Wait for somebody who is good to you. It doesn’t matter if they make you giggle laugh, because if they give you that empty ‘i’m not hungry’ feeling in your stomach when they forget to call, they are not fucking worth it. They are never worth your bathroom tears or your constant ‘what do you think it means’ barrage to your friends. You are worth it. You are stupidly cool/sometimes lame but you have a human pulse and you don’t kill people and you deserve to be happy. Maybe this person will take forever, maybe it will take till next week. Who knows when they will get their lazy ass off the couch and come find you? However, until then, don’t put up with bullshit. Don’t put up with the bad feelings. Just go do your own thing until somebody fits your puzzle piece. It’ll be something for the books. Don’t fucking settle for anything less."
and also
"we never broke up because we were never actually together. But my heart was all yours, even though yours was only half mine."
so to thank you my loyal readers for the read:
"Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say yes."
i'll do my best to check in often.
Sunday, June 05, 2011, 6/05/2011 12:54:00 AM
i'm trying to keep my blog alive.but first, i need to re-surface from somewhere.
you can lose hope, lose money, lose love, but you can't lose faith.
Sunday, March 13, 2011, 3/13/2011 06:41:00 PM
nothing lasts forever.the emotions that we felt can only be fleeting, cherish the moment I always tell myself because you never know when will be your last time.
we both know the truth at the back of our minds, our hearts, knowing that all these are based on lies, nothing concrete to begin in. we began to fall deeper, knowing that one day, there will be a surface for us to crack our heads and hearts apart. then i know i've hit reality as hard as i can be.
nobody wants to talk about it but one day, this will all end. i'll probably need therapy by then, or the next fling to get me by.
in my manic panic moment of desperation, i said "don't let go, for now i guess"
he replied "no thoughts of letting go" i wonder if he did think about adding "not yet"
i said "okay, let's go with the flow as of now, i still want you as much as i want you before"
he gave a final reply "same here baby"
makes me feel heartbroken already, no surprise there.
"It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both"
Sunday, February 27, 2011, 2/27/2011 11:40:00 AM
Back when even the dirtiest of language was poetic and beautiful.
Transcript
June 25, 1745
My dear Friend,
I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness. Your Reasons against entring into it at present, appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient.
But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:
1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor’d with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.
2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.
3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc’d may be attended with much Inconvenience.
4. Because thro’ more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin’d to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.
5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.
6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.
7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.
8. They are so grateful!!
Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely
Your affectionate Friend,
B. Franklin
source
Wednesday, February 09, 2011, 2/09/2011 11:38:00 PM
perfect for a night @ the office.
happy cny 2011!
fat rat rabbit.